Ordering pizza in 2008

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Homero, Oct 15, 2004.

  1. Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. May I have your national
    ID number?"

    Customer: "Hi, I'd like to place an order."

    Operator: "I must have your NIDN first, sir?"

    Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, hold on, eh, it's

    Operator: "Thank you Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number is 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number is 266-2566.
    Email address is sheehan@home.net. Which number are you calling from sir?"

    Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"

    Operator: "We're wired into the HSS, sir."

    Customer: "The HSS, what is that?"

    Operator: "We're wired into the Homeland Security System, sir. This
    will add only 15 seconds to your ordering time"

    Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your
    All-Meat Special pizzas."

    Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."

    Customer: "Whaddya mean?"

    Operator: "Sir, your medical records and commode sensors indicate
    that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high

    Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy

    Customer: "What?!?! What do you recommend, then?"

    Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Pizza. I'm sure you'll
    like it."

    Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"

    Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your
    local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion."

    Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones,

    Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four
    kids, and your 2 dogs can finish the crusts, sir. Your total is

    Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."

    Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash.
    Your credit card balance is over its limit."

    Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your
    driver gets here."

    Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's
    overdrawn also."

    Customer: "Never mind! Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash
    ready. How long will it take?"

    Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45
    minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up
    while you're out getting the cash, but then, carrying pizzas on a
    motorcycle can be a little awkward."

    Customer: "Wait! How do you know I ride a scooter?"

    Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so
    your car got repo'ed. But your Harley is paid for and you just
    filled the tank yesterday"

    Customer: "Well I'll be a #%#^^&$%^$@#!"

    Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already
    got a July 4, 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop and another one
    I see here on September for contempt at your hearing for cussing at
    a judge. Oh yes, I see here that you just got out from a 90 day stay in the
    State Correctional Facility." Is this your first pizza since your
    return to society?

    Customer: (Speechless)

    Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"

    Customer: "Yes, I have a coupon for a free 2 liter of Coke".

    Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents
    us from offering free soda to diabetics. The New Constitution
    prohibits this. Thank you for calling Pizza Hut!"

  2. More likely to happen in the UK or Australia than America.
  3. Its already getting considered here in Aus. i heard it on the radio today.
  4. actually pepsi owns pizza hut. and only the end of that is really right. i make them mf's pay for their stuff and half the time i wont give em the deals i just rip em off. you gotta make money somehow. but either way because of the way the company works we cant tell a customer no, no matter how fat or out of shape they are. ive gotten in trouble for telling a customer we wouldnt make them a pizza 30mins after we closed. damn area mgr told me i should have turned the ovens back on and just run all my paperwork again and recount my money. hes a big prick. there is also a MF that comes in to eat my buffet that weighs a good 500lbs and he needs a chair for his ass and one for his gut to take the stress off the other chair. ive wanted to go out there and recommend that he eat off the salad bar not the buffet but my area mgr would relieve me of my job. that sob eats 10 medium pizzas and doesnt even get up to get them. his table is as close to the buffet as he can get so he can turn around and grab something and if the side he is sittin on is empty he makes one of his kids gets up and goes around to the other side to get him a few slices.
  5. damm nanny state here. im so gonna move to germany someday.
  6. hahaha <A BORDER="0" HREF="http://www.supercars.net/emoticons.html"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="http://speed.supercars.net/pitlane/emoticons/smile.gif"></A>
  7. Man that's scary.
    I can think it may be happening sooner than 2008 though.
    With everything we use plugged to the internet, interconnected, anyone will know who we are what we eat, where we work and all that. It just freaks me out.


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