another parent thread

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Aych Es Vee, May 12, 2015.

  1. My wife is making baby. Its a boy.

    In China, we done the deed, once, then she lost her pill, and we could not find a morning after pill, or even a chemist that wasnt actually a herbal medicine shop. She has been told in the past it was very unlikely for her to make kids, and apparently this happened in the most infertile part of the 'cycle'.
    We came home and found her pills in some weird corner of her suitcase... ah!

    We feel really bad, as we have friends that really want kids, and either cant actually have them, or have been trying for years... and we didnt want them at all (especially my wife!! lol) and then just one time, it happens.

    Feeling guilty for being selfish. We both are not liking the thought of being parents. We LOVE kids, but just didnt want our own. Always thought if we were going to have them, we would adopt. The world is populated enough as it is. Could never abort or adopt, as we have a great relationship, doing very well financially, and have fantastic family support. We just keep telling ourselves 'it is what it is, suck it up, do our best, love him, and hopefully our attitudes will change when hes out and we watch him grow up'
    Granted, it doesnt help that a lot of my wifes friends are single mums who pretty much hate their lives, lol.
    At the same time, speaking to people who really want kids, they all seem to have 'selfish' reasons too, like 'i want a little version of myself'...

    Any other parent here have similar problems? A lot of people say 'as soon as you see the baby, everything will change', but that only seems to come from overly emotional people anyway, which we are not. Seen plenty of cases where thats clearly not true.
     
  2. no

    Congratulations! ...or?
     
  3. I know how you feel / thinking. Had the same questionning before my eldest son was born.
    My girlfriend and I, after she was pregant, we said to ourselves:
    -Are we ready for this?
    -Are we going to be good parents?
    -Can we support him?
    Tons of questions cames flying in your mind, but as soon as you see your little one born, you WILL change forever, in a good way. Kids are awesome man! All thoses questions that you are asking yourself right now will completely vanish with your new born. Trust me.
     
  4. you're gonna be married to a milf
     
  5. I laughed at this way harder then I should have
     
  6. YES!
     
  7. Trusting/Hoping. :D
     
  8. I'm not a parent, but I remember how everything changed when my first nephew was born. Suddenly, nothing in the world is more important to anyone. It's pretty magical.
     
  9. Seems different for everyone, because I have 10 nephews and nieces, and after each one, thats what makes me feel more and more the way I do, lol.

    Hoping it will be different because its my own!!
     
  10. I agree in a way. Seems pretty hard. But then again, seeing how my brother now has 3 kids, there must be a great deal of satisfaction coming from it.
     
  11. There's never a good time to have a kid. It's the same whether you're 17 or 37.

    CR and I made promises to not fall down the "parent" hole and completely turn ourselves off to the world. Road trip? Bring the kid. Camping? Bring the kid. Whatever it is, I believe children should be involved. It's good for them and they're less likely to turn in to horrible adults if they have good experiences when they're younger.

    The first year or two can be difficult because they're totally dependent on you for everything but once they start becoming their own person then it gets easier and a lot more fun.
     
  12. when do you find time to make love
     
  13. give them a crayon and a white wall and have at it
     
  14. Introduce him to scnet
     
  15. A friend of ours is getting married in Vegas and we had an American road trip planned for next year, going to national parks and all that... Baby will be about 7 months old. We're still tossing up whether to shorten the trip and bring him, or just cancel. Flights are basically free at that age, so depends on what the kid is like I guess.
    Might have to cut down on the overseas trips

    But good advice nonetheless, I had another friend say the exact same thing.
     
  16. You have a great wife and you are a good husband, so don't worry too much. Your nephews will always be here to be on the look out to care of the baby if needed.
     
  17. What is this a having sex club?
     
  18. this is exactly how i was raised, and am so grateful for it. my parents involved me in everything they did with their friends (and they were young as hell, 19 and 25 when i was born). it was seriously the greatest thing. I still remember going to cottages and beaches with them and their friends who were all like mid 20s at the time lol.
     
  19. word
     
  20. My sister is the exact opposite of this advice and I just know it's going to hurt her kids at some point. EVERYTHING spins around "this one has to eat at 12" and "this one needs to take a bath at 6". Her little one is a year and a half old and I don't think she's ever spent an evening alone with both her kids. Always in need of assistance.
     
  21. its normal to have a strict schedule, we have that for bed time and it works perfectly. I does create a challenge with other people who don't have kids and don't understand the importance of this... our friends just got their own kids and apologized for being such assholes about schedules... now they understand.

    of course there are other mentalities where parents bring their infants to music shows until 11pm
     
  22. Strict schedules should be bent if there's a special occasion, like a family gathering on a national holiday. But also that schedule prevents my sister from doing some things with her kids. They don't usually go out of their way to travel, have fun, see the country or even visit their grandma (30 minutes drive away) on a weekday noon/afternoon.
     
  23. #$%# your schedules

    Srsly a bunch of mini-hitlers
     
  24. i remember every week my parents playing cards and drinking and stuff and i'd hangout with them at the age of 4-5 and since i was the first kid of any of their friends everyone wanted to like "play with me" and "talk to me" and buy me gifts and shit.
     
  25. This sounds absolutely horrifying to me.
     

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