funniest scn member

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by theHonk, Mar 15, 2009.

  1. Gentlemen,

    I sip on the finest aged red wine, for I am a Swiss banker.

    My nose is high in the air.
     
  2. oh shit you evolved too
    congtars
     
  3. Gentlemen,

    As i sit in my garden in my holiday home in Salzburg drinking tea, i am drawn to take a look back at my sucesses and achomplishments. Unlike my younger days i no longer yearn to drive my dashing ferrari's through the Monaco countryside, or my speedboats.

    No, but lately i have been more drawn toward art and the splendid beauty of nature.

    Achieving sucess on such a massive scale was not easy. Today i control the vast majority of the world's steel production, it is my steel that is used by the world's best automakers. Gold bullions sales around the world are also my business, as is diamonds, import/export of raw materials.

    But as i stand in my garden with my cup of tea, and with the wind in my face, i cannot help but think, who shall believe my verse in time to come.
     
  4. I have driven on many roads:
    1. The dusty outback of Austarlia
    2. The paved auto bahns of Germany
    3. The poor quality labourer roadways of America
     
  5. Today sitting on my balcony in lavish home in Salszburg, I thought about this vile and corrupt website. Salzburg is the place where i will bask for another 1000 years.
     
  6. this is your final warnding
     
  7. Today i may have billions is Swiss banks, but time is the ultimate luxery.
     
  8. Dear Friends,

    In the past few years, we have seen a massive downfall in the way men and women dress. It reflects there place in society, when they dress in a shameful manner. It is my beliefe that a man must at all times be dressed in a jacket and tie, while the lady in a dress and matching hat. NO JEANS AND T-SHIRT.

    It has always been my belief, that there is only one place where the old art of the tailor is still alive, that place of ofcourse Naples. Some of the finest tailors of this rather cultivating city have dressed mambers of Nobilty and Aristocracy, for many years. I am no different.

    In the shops, open only to the very elite, they made the suits with passion, desire, and above all honour, using only the finest cloth known to man.

    However sometimes when i am busy with my worldwide business interests, i buy my suits from some of my favourite suitmakers such as

    1)Gieves & Hawkes: I espically like there sharp military dresses, and there suits are indeed Savile Row, preferred by boisterious tycoons.

    2)Anderson & Sheppard: No dought Savile Row, they make wide shouldered and traditional cut, favoured by Posh Aristocrats.

    3)Sartoria Domenico Caraceni: Soft and round on the shoulers, full in the chest, and a little short than usual, this classic looks is indeed very flamboyant.
     
  9. Dear Friends,

    I have been basking on this site for about 3.5 years. During this time i have seen many changes, from finding out 'gtsorbust' is gay to 'Fire Red' being humilated. But there are some things that i cannot tolerate.

    Some members on this site have continued to converse in a vulgar and shameful manner. These members belong to the bottom of society. They are illetrate and labourers. These labourers must start to show respect to other members on this site, espically those who belong to Aristocracy and Nobilty.

    Another matter that i wish to discuss, is the behaviour of Mr V8stangman, yes the banhammer. This man has continued over the years to humilate those of the female gender, but posting 'bikini photos' of them in his private forum.

    I want all of you to take action against this, and i want everyone to pm V8stangman, regarding this matter. Also i want you to make threads about these matters when you receive this pm.

    I appoint 3 members who i believe have honour to take charge in this matter to better our society.

    They are Wex,mpg and 2998ccCSL.
     
  10. Dear Friends,

    As you may all know, for many years, i have spend vast amount of my free time on lavish activities. I control the vast majority of the world's steel production, due to which i can indulge myself in anything i wish.

    However i no longer believe in this. No longer do i yearn to drive my dashing collection of Ferrari's that i keep in my house in Monaco. I have no more need for my various speedboats or yatches, in the Mediterian Sea.

    Now there is only 1 thing that i try to do and that is to preserve Honour. A true Aristocrat always fights till the last drop of blood in his veins, his sword and horse, shall never let him down.

    I shall share with you a story of an Ancient Aristocrat with warrior blood in his veins. The enemy has surrounded the castle, and demanded the surrender of the King, all the kings soldiers were dead. The warrior was given a choice, surrender the King and live a life of utter luxery and many a fine lass. The warrior laughed at the coward enemy and raised his sword.

    My nose is high in the air.
     
  11. Dear friends,

    As you all may know IAR has accomplished much in life. He was born into Nobilty, and this helped him created a business empire around the world. It all started in a rather modest house in Rotterdam, holland. It was a small Import/Export company, that today dominates Global commerce.

    Today i control 95% of the world's steel production. In addition i also have invested rather heavily in the oil markets. 5% of the world's crude supply is supplied by my companies. A lot of my steel is used in the production of cars in germany and france. The raw procession of steel is done in my factories in Australia.

    As a man of rather distingueshed taste i also maintain posh hotels in major cities around the world, such as London, Munich, Milan, Moscow, Sydney, Tokyo, paris, Berlin, Hamburg, to only name a few. But my favourite hotels is 'The red Paradise'. Located on the tip of the Mediterian Sea, it cost me a modest 3 Billion(USD) to build. I do not think of this as a hotel or a business, but rather a passion, a desire, a mark of flamboyance, displayed by a boisterious tycoon.

    I don't spend much time in Monaco anymore, due to business requirements, i have to spend my time in my office in London. I only go to Monaco now to drive my dashing Ferrari's that i keep there, but to relax the mind and body i prefer to go to my favourite city, Salzburg.

    Perhaps no city or anything for that matter is more dear to my heart than Salzburg. it is where the splendid beauty of nature is found in it's breathtaking form. I can still hear Mozart, even today in the air of Salzburg. This is where i shall bask for a 1,000 years.
     
  12. The Price of sucess.

    Gentlemen,

    Success, glamour and glory can be attained, however the sucess does come at a price. The price is one's time. It takes years of dedication to build a business empire that is the envy of the world. Those years may never return, for they are lost amid the glitz and glamour.

    The road to glory, fame and fortune may have many roadblocks in it's way, but once i embark on sucess, sucess cannot elude me. One also must not be disillushned in the face of adversity. Patience, passion, endurance, is required in the road, which may be filled with jealousy and vendetta by the teeming masses.

    But an Aristocrat shall rise above all these elements to glory for a 1,000 years.


    Thy Bosum is engendered in all hearts.

    Gentlemen,

    As a wise scholar once said, behind every great Aristocrat is a great lady. Such is indeed the case with me as well. However instead of just one lady there are a few.

    I have shared my bed with many a posh supermodels. I am often asked why are Posh ladies attracted to me like bees are attracted to honey? Is it my wealth in abudence? My yatches, villas, ferrari's? No, Gentlemen it is my inginuity, my charm, ellegance, my place at the very top of society, a place respected by the teeming masses throught civilization.


    Who shall believe my verse in time to come?

    Gentlemen,

    As i sit in my garden in my holiday home in Salzburg drinking tea, i am drawn to take a look back at my sucesses and achomplishments. Unlike my younger days i no longer yearn to drive my dashing ferrari's through the Monaco countryside, or my speedboats.

    No, but lately i have been more drawn toward art and the splendid beauty of nature.

    Achieving sucess on such a massive scale was not easy. Today i control the vast majority of the world's steel production, it is my steel that is used by the world's best automakers. Gold bullions sales around the world are also my business, as is diamonds, import/export of raw materials.

    But as i stand in my garden with my cup of tea, and with the wind in my face, i cannot help but think, who shall believe my verse in time to come.


    The driving passion of a Ferrari.

    MclarenF1, Dauer Porsche and the Bugatti Veyron are perhaps the most impressive cars ever made. But they lack something. They lack the history, the passion, the allure, and the charm of a V12 powered Ferrari. But now the question becomes where can this passion be best relaized?

    - On the muddy roads of Australia?

    -On the Flawless German Autobahn?

    -On the breathtaking Autostrada?

    -On the crime filled motorways of America?

    -On the often broken motorways of the UK?

    The answer is none of the above. Because the driving passion of a ferrari could only be realized on narrow winding roads, where one does not use hard braking into sharp corners but rather shift down, where the gems of automobile perfection sing with the winds, captivating the heart of it's driver for a 1,000 years.


    Glory.


    Gentlemen,

    I am a posh Aristocrat from the Midlands, and i indulge in many captivating passion such as sailing the high seas, driving my ferrari's through the south of france where i maintain a lavish villa, playing Polo, and ofcourse as a proper Aristocrat i always enjoy a good hunt.

    I am a man who always dresses in a manner befitting my standing in society. I prefer Savile Row tailoring, Anderson & Sheppard, Gieves & Hawkes, and ofcourse i have other personal tailors in Naples where the ancient art of the tailor is still very much alive to this day.

    I am also a man of much knowledge and wisdom, which i've used to become a very sucessful businessman, the high and mighty often consult me on a wide range of subjects relating to stocks, commodties prices, high finance and other matters relating to financial competence.

    If i wish to relax for a few days, to be away from the stress of my business empire i often fly to my holiday home in Salzburg, it is here that i find peace and calm, basking in Mozart brilliance, listening to his voice which one could still here even today in the air, while sipping tea in my lush garden with my lady friends.

    My nose is high in the air.


    Beyond these tears, there must be happiness. I remember her smile, I remember her scent. I believe we shall meet again. I can almost touch her gentle face. I can almost stroke her silky dark hair. Why does God test me so and why does even Satan abandon me? I shall offer my soul to the first bidder for her. I will fight the world for her. I will challenge the strongest wave, the hottest fire or the coldest winter if need be. I must, I must, I must? I shall forever repeat these words for these words give me motive, give me strength ? Strength I need that I fear I have not?

    As the intoxication settles in, my imagination is vivid. I am with her. I tentatively reach for her and feel her yearning for my touch too. It must be so again. Our bodies meeting in an explosion of passion? Passion my friends is what we live for. Passion is what I desire. My woman I feel the need for. Two bodies entwined in an eternal orgasm. Infinite is our lust, our love, our passion? Oh so great that God himself would be jealous and Satan himself would sell me all the souls he has tricked for an infinitesimal moment of this heat. Fierce is this passion my friends, fierce is this passion?

    Now I can taste the salty tears I am crying. For life is too short my friends, be afraid. You may not have your moments or your victories. You might pray, you might try but time will defeat all. The only thing eternal is time itself. Nay, I fear even time may be a victim to itself. Is that not a fearful impossibility? Time may die. Yes, I still cry. I miss her so, I miss her more? ?tis futile though, for she is not here? And the hardest truth is that she will never be. She is a victim of time my friends. She has been swallowed by the past and will not return. All my pleading, my begging, my bribing, my cursing? Wasted? Wasted along with the echoes that die in this tiny patch with four walls that trap me?

    Time shall kill our love, time shall kill our passion? Time shall kill my humanity? I beg of you friends, do not waste this precious element. Time is the most precious thing we waste. Enjoy your life, enjoy your love, enjoy your passions my friends? This is the truth my friends. My love died when she was still sweet and young. She died never having tasted real love and togetherness. We had snatches of time, nothing more alas? And I cry to this day?


    Gentlemen,

    The breathing is incidental, the rest is just an illusion. Flowers blossom only to wither away. Time is a magacian, it casts it smell, when tempered even iron melts.

    Oh my beautyful love the lady of my desires, Goodness you torment me to no end. All my desire now is for the earth to meet the sky. To keep myself alive, i have died a 1,00 deaths, the poison of death i drank with smile.

    Nothing ammuses me without you, oh captivating lass, look at my obsession. I wonder why your enterance has set my heart on fire, can someone tell me.

     
  13. Enough.

    I am the King, the undisputed King. What do you bloody worthless labourers know about becoming a King. A king's relationship is only with his throne, everything else is irrervent. There is a rather heavy price to be paid for the throne.
     
  14. see this is good stuff
     
  15. you guys have reminded me how much I HATEd IAR
     
  16. Me!

    Seriously though Moo and WCW.
     
  17. I'm not funny ;_;
     
  18.  
  19. I hated him too. But for some reason it seems so much more amusing when we're quoting the shit out of him.
     
  20. amusing like getting stabbed or shot maybe
     
  21. srs, he was annoying when he actually posted but so much funnier that he's being quoted.

    he had a good writing style.
     
  22. the best part is the spelling/grammar mistakes, it wouldn't be the same without them


    As i sit in my garden in my holiday home in Salzburg drinking tea, i am drawn to take a look back at my sucesses and achomplishments.
     
  23. hes like chris bangle designs
     

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