Joke time.

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by lurbo, Nov 28, 2004.

  1. A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender goes "Hey, we have a drink named after you!" and the grasshopper goes "You have a drink named 'Steve'!~?"
     
  2. A skeleton walks into a bar and says "I'll have a beer. And a mop."
     
  3. The Seven Dwarfs went to the Vatican, and got ushered in to see the Pope. Dopey led the pack. "Dopey, my son," said the Pope, "what can I do for you?" Dopey asked, "Excuse me, Your Eminence, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?" The Pope wrinkled his brow at the odd question, thought for a moment and answered, "No Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome." In the background the dwarfs started giggling. Dopey turned around and gave them a fiery stare, silencing them. Dopey turned back to the Pope. "Your Holiness, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe?" The Pope, puzzled again, answered, "No Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in all of Europe." This time, all the dwarfs burst into laughter. Once again, Dopey turned around and silenced them all with an angry stare. Dopey turned back to the Pope and said, "Mr. Pope, are there ANY dwarf nuns in the whole world?" The Pope answered, "I'm sorry, my son, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world." The other dwarfs collapsed into a heap, rolling and laughing, tears running down their cheeks as they began chanting: "Dopey screwed a penguin, Dopey screwed a penguin!"
     
  4. rad awesome! <A BORDER="0" HREF="http://www.supercars.net/emoticons.html"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="http://speed.supercars.net/pitlane/emoticons/grin.gif"></A><A BORDER="0" HREF="http://www.supercars.net/emoticons.html"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="http://speed.supercars.net/pitlane/emoticons/grin.gif"></A>
     
  5. Two muffins are cooking in an oven. One muffin turns to the other and says "Man, it's hot in here". The second muffin looks at the first one in terror, and says "Oh shit, a talking muffin!"
     
  6. What did the fish say when it ran into the brick wall?

    "#$%#!"
     
  7. there are so many like that

    the egg one is better..


    two eggs are boiling in a pan of water...one turns to the other and says "Blimey! It's hot in here!", the other one gasps: "OH MY GOD, a Talking EGG!?"
     
  8. Bubba the biker was riding his hog down a back country road, miles from anywhere, when suddenly, though not surprisingly, the bike died. He pulled it over to the shoulder near a field with two horses, a brown one and a white one. So Bubba poked and prodded his bike for about 15 minutes, but the problem was that he RODE bikes, he couldn't fix them. So he continues to prod and diddle aimlessly when he heard someone say, "Pull the carb bowl and clean the main jet!"

    Bubba was so startled he fell over. He hadn't head any cars approach, and when he looked around, he saw nothing except that the brown horse had come over toward him. "I said, clean the main jet, ace!"

    He could have sworn the horse said it. He stared at the brown mustang, and it said "You heard me. Clean the jet."

    This knocked Bubba on his ass. But since he wasn't getting anywhere himself, he decided to go try it. He had nothing to lose. The horse talked him through it, and in no time, bubba was back on his bike, making a beeline for the nearest bar. When he got there, he ordered a triple shot. The bartender made a face and asked Bubba what happened. After pounding it, he said, "You won't belive this, but a HORSE helped me fix my bike."

    The bartender frowned and said, "Musta been that brown one out on the back road."

    "WHAT?," Bubba almost shrieked, "How'd you know?"

    "Stands to reason; the white one don't know shit about bikes."
     
  9. noo, it's:

    What did the fish say when it ran into the brick wall?

    damn


    geddit...Damn...dam...ahahahahah<A BORDER="0" HREF="http://www.supercars.net/emoticons.html"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="http://speed.supercars.net/pitlane/emoticons/disappointed.gif"></A>
     
  10. Whats the difference between roast beef and pea soup?



    Anybody can roast beef.
     
  11. haha
     
  12. Whats the difference between a BMW and a pile of dead babies?

    I don't have a BMW in my garage
     
  13. haha
     

Share This Page