Not entirely sure how to articulate this

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Marki, Jul 4, 2013.

  1. Ok, so when I was a couple of years younger, maybe 17-20... generally if I went out with a girl, I could usually get away with sleeping with her the same night. More often than not, this was the case.

    I'm turning 22 next month, and i've been going on a shit load of dates lately, and it's a lot rarer nowadays to close the first date. I'll get away with a kiss sometimes, but sleeping on the first date does not happen as often.

    Is this what happens we people grow up? All these younger 20 something broads think their all that and a bag of chips, which they aint.

    What I think is a bigger problem, at least for me personally, is that I could go out with a chick, legit get along with her, have a good time, maybe kiss her, but if she does not put out, I usually don't really want to see her again. Maybe it's my priorities... because I know if I went on another couple of dates, it would be in the bag.

    Is it that everyone else is now looking for relationships and im still sitting here just trying to get laid? It confuses me, and makes me feel like i'm wrong in leading girls on, cause a lot of the time they'll try to hang again and i'm just like nahhh. It also makes me feel immature, like is this what grownups do? I'm supposed to go out with you several times before you entertain the notion of me screwing you? I don't get it.

    I went out with this girl tonight, smart chick, really working hard trying to be successful whatever, this matters when I get to the point. We have a couple of drinks at one bar, move to another, she's getting touchy feeling so we start making out. I suggest we go for a walk, she agrees so i close the tab. We walk to a nice waterfront area, sit down, talk, make out some more. Then she looks at the time, says "why dont you walk me to the train i've got to be up early... id ask you to come with me but ladies don't do that."

    look, i totally respect you not trying to sleep with me on the first date and maintaining your dignity and all that. whatever makes you sleep better at night, but dont try to play it off under the guise of being a lady. youre just doing that because even though you want it you know theres a huge double standard with girls being regarded as sluts, blah, blah. so youll make me wait another week or whatever.

    end rant. im slightly buzzed, maybe im just annoyed cause i really wanted to get laid tonight. its been awhile. i also wore my lucky underwear <A BORDER="0" HREF="http://www.supercars.net/PitLane?displayFAQ=y"><IMG BORDER="0" SRC="pitlane/emoticons/disappointed.gif"></A>
     
  2. inb4 dahldrin and f1 get in here to white night and call me a bad, bad guy!
     
  3. should have kept fighting through the LMR bro
     
  4. Sleeping on the first date means shes a slut.

    Youre a slut
     
  5. I've noticed similar things. I think that when you're high school aged, or early-college aged, dating someone basically means #$%#ing someone on the regular. Later on, priorities shift to more committed types of relationships and the way you date to pick the good from the bad changes.

    At least, that's how I rationalize it.
     
  6. And if you want to #$%# just go to a club and hit on someone
     
  7. I've had sex with a lot of girls, but never once have I let a girl think that it was anything more than casual sex. Not once.

    You don't lie to girls to get laid dude... That is seriously pathetic. I mean, you're still young and all, but cut that shit out. Getting your dick wet isn't as important being a good dude. Anyone can get laid, it's not an accomplishment.

    And this 'self-described hero' bullshit attitude of not wanting to see a girl again if she does not put out on the first date is just you being a lazy asshole. What kind of girl lets you close on the first date? Two kinds; whores, and chicks interested in casual sex. Both of those are fine of all you want is sex, in fact they are preferable! At least that way there's no trickery or false expectations. But you're talking about nice girls that want to wait a little before debasing themselves and you're either fooling them into thinking they get to see you again, or tossing them aside for not being whores.

    You really are a bad person. We would probably have an argument in real.
     
  8. Where at all did I say I was lying to anyone?
     
  9. Yeah, that's pretty much exactly what it is I think
     
  10. " It confuses me, and makes me feel like i'm wrong in leading girls on..."

    This is lying, and yes it is wrong.
     
  11. But you see, I like a lot of these girls for real. Like the chick I went out with last night, I could see having a relationship with her, but I just don't feel like I'm in the right place to execute that successfully, no matter how they perceieve me...

    By not seeing them again, I'm probably actually doing them a favor.

    In any case, it certainly is not lying. Leading people on is not lying. I'm not explicitly stating that things between us won't go any further you know.

    Whether or not it is wrong is a completely different story.

     
  12. I see it as cowardly. By being anything other than fully upfront you are misleading them.
     
  13. You're wrong, why would you ever state your intentions so prematurely. The only case where I can see it being viable is

    A) you really, really dig the chick and want it to be know so she does not get away from you (though this is somewhat counterintuitive)

    B) she brings it up first, if any of these chicks asked me what I was looking for I'd be totally upfront; say nothing serious or commuted for the time being. And this has happened, what of it, the girl still tries to pursue me because girls all think they can change a man, and want a dude they feel like they can mold. Another reason why being a "nice guy" like F1 never works out
     
  14. I'm not wrong, you're misreading me. I didn't say 'state intentions prematurely'. I said leading girls on is a cowardly thing to do. A girl knows that if a guy asks her out its because he thinks she is pretty enough and wants to bang her. You don't need to state it. I'm talking about leading a girl on toward thinking you want a relationship with her when you only want a one night stand.
     
  15. And yes, FiLM will never be successful with girls by being one himself.
     
  16. Ah, ok. I got you know.

    Maybe this will sound shitty, but it's not like i'm entirely opposed to a relationship. I just personally feel like I wil know right away if a girl is relationship material, and so far I have not encountered that since my ex. Since usually I can tell right away I don't want to be dating them, I might as well try to get laid.

    I also just enjoying the company of a woman, I like going on dates, I like communicating with females, I like the subtle interaction, and it helps me hone my skills and technique in regard to women in general. And it boosts my ego, self esteem and confidence.

    Girls get a great night out on the town as well, everyone wins.
     
  17. I used to slay a lot of pussy. Then I realized that an actual life was more important to me. Fortunately I found the right lady and married her. Life is pretty good. I much prefer married life.
     
  18. There's no lack of people in their mid twenties whose main goal is to #$%# around and have fun...
     
  19. If you're looking for something casual, why go on a date at all? If you want a one night stand, pick someone up in a bar or at a party and bang them. You'll both know what's up and everyone gets what they want. You don't ask a girl out on a real date if you just want sex.

    It's not as much about hurting feelings as it is wasting peoples' time. A first date is like a job interview, you wouldn't want to interview someone, decide it's a good fit and then have them quit the next day. If that's what you wanted you'd have just called a temp service and told them to send whoever, you wouldn't interview them.

    So yes, at your age people are only going on actual DATES if they're open to seeing this person regularly.
     
  20. Some wise words here.

    Exactly what i wanted to say, but too lazy to type it.
     
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  22. SF is the queer capitol of everywhere. Even straight girls are successful with other girls here.
     
  23. If I read this correctly, you only want to bang chicks. You're not looking for a long term relationship, right?
     

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