story time!

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by Maroon Beret, Sep 17, 2004.

  1. "Today we will experiment with a new form called the
    tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the
    person sitting to his or her immediate right. One of you will then
    write the first paragraph of a short story. The partner will read the
    first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story. The
    first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back and forth.
    Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the
    story coherent.

    There is to be absolutely NO talking and anything you
    wish to say must be written on the paper. The story is over when both
    agree a conclusion has been reached."

    The following was actually turned in by two of my
    English students:

    Rebecca (last name deleted), and Gary (last name
    deleted).
    -------------------------

    STORY:

    (first paragraph by Rebecca)

    At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea
    she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy
    evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in
    happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all
    costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if
    she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So
    chamomile was out of the question.

    ----------------------------------------
    -------------------

    (second paragraph by Gary)

    Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of
    the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things
    to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo
    named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago.
    "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17,???*?? he said into his transgalactic
    communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so
    far... " But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out
    of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt
    from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the
    cockpit.


    ------------------------------------

    (Rebecca)

    He bumped his head and died almost immediately but
    not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing
    the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth
    stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of
    Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and
    Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news
    simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window,
    dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and
    carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her
    from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things round
    her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered
    wistfully.

    ---------------------------------------

    (Gary)

    Little did she know, but she had less than 10
    seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian
    mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The
    dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace
    Disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for
    the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human
    race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships
    were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion
    missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his
    top-secret Mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of
    Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized
    poor, stupid, Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed
    his fist on the conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to
    veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"


    ----------------------------------------

    (Rebecca)

    This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of
    literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic
    semi-literate adolescent. >

    --------------------------------------

    (Gary)

    Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic
    whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh
    shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of
    F*CKING TEA??? Oh no, I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many
    Danielle Steele novels."


    -------------------------------------

    (Rebecca)

    Asshole.

    --------------------------------------

    (Gary)

    #%[email protected]

    --------------------------------------

    (Rebecca)

    DICK!

    --------------------------------------

    (Gary)

    Slut.

    -------------------------------------

    (Rebecca)

    F*CK YOU - YOU NEANDERTHAL!!!

    --------------------------------------

    (Gary)

    Go drink some tea - whore.

    -------------------------------------

    > (teacher)



    A+ - I really liked this one.
     
  2. That thread title is copyrighted, you asshole.
     
  3. Tell me a story about Robert O'Riley.
     
  4. I just got some.
     
  5. This is the shittiest thread ever created.
     
  6. go burn in hell
     
  7. facesmashed.
     
  8. I enjoyed it maroon.
     

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