To get married...

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by SmilinGoat, Jan 1, 2008.

  1. lately ive had this urge that within the next few years i want to be married, a year ago it started out as a little bit of a "hmmm" now its a "i really want this" and im afraid its going to turn into a "must have" aspect of my life.

    ive been "against" marriage for years, since i was a little kid, never wanted to get married or have kids, im still pretty "meh" on the idea of kids, but to be honest even those thoughts have been entering my mind.

    here is the problem, ive put up a front for a long time "im never getting married" i dont know exactly why, mainly because for a lot of years i thought i'd never want to. The thing is my girlfriend is the same way, it started out that i didnt care that much, about a year ago when we started dating, but its become more and more prominent on my day to day thinking. with her though i dont know, because she's like me, she puts up a front about it (and the having kids thing) but i cant tell if its just a front (because there are random moments where i hear here say things to her female friends like "you'll have to fight my sister to be the maid of honor" but its in a very joking manner.

    anyway apparently right before i brought this up to one of our closest friends she, and two of my girlfriends closest friends apparently had a talk about it. they all think that my girlfriend wants to get married, yet still denies it.

    which leads me to the question, have any of you noticed any huge changes in your beliefs after getting into a serious relationship? its giving me a bit of a mindfUck, i think it has something to do with seeing my peers and best friends get married and having kids (two of my best 3 friends in the last/next 6months will have done/are doing both)
  2. Yes. Being in a serious relationship makes you grow and change your opinion about things. I was the same like I never wanted to get married when I was younger.

    Now its all that goes through my head and I will probably get married this year.

    Just talk with your girl and tell her about how you feel and she might be glad that you brouhgt it up first.

    Good luck.
  3. how old are you? this questions is not ment to be a negative one, it is an honest question. I am now 23 and am starting to think about being married but in a couple of years. I have never been against it but it has been in my mind more and more recently.
  4. 21 but been in a relationship for six years and I know shes the one.
  5. im also 23, 24 in a few months.

    maybe it has to do with hormones or something, as i was in a 5 year relationship 17-22 and i never had these feelings. hell you can go back and quote me as saying that "marriage isnt important as anything, the only thing that is important is that you love eachother"

    now i still kind of stand by that, but for me, its becoming more and more important, not because i feel like if we dont do this we arnt "truly a couple" but instead its more the celebration of the feelings ive had inside me over the past year with this girl. and to symbolically and physically bring together our two families. not for religion, but for some other reason that i cant really describe.

    i had a 9 hour conversation last night with a female friend (probably my best female friend and my girlfriends best friend) and she told me some things that make me think im not the only one thinking about it... gave examples, whatever. i just hope i dont finally pop the question some day, and ruin what we have (although, she did tell our friend that she would merry me if it was that important to me, however i want it to be a mutual desire, so fUcking confusing)
  6. Just make sure its the one and not someone...
  7. well, like i said, before i was in a 5 year relationship and never once felt this way, and now i feel this urge more and more every day im with her. to me that makes me thing that this really is "the one" as you put it.
  8. I thought the same man and growing up does this to you. I was on my way to get married and it all broke down. But I still feel the same way. Don't want to sleep around, just a long-term relationship which might lead to something.

  9. When the girl really wants you to marry her, she stops taking the pill.

  10. lol, that would be HORRIBLE, she still has to get her masters/dr.
  11. I can go either way on the idea.

    I'm almost 24, my missus is 22 and we've been together a littl over a year. It's never really been much in the way of a topic of conversation, though she says one day she'd like to get married. I wouldn't be opposed to the idea with the right bird, but as my life stands at the moment, I'm not going to be ready to get married until I've finished my degree in 5 years (if I make it that far) and wouldn't marry anyone unless we were going to be more than financially stable at the time.

    To me it's not a big thing, especially in this day and age.

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