Top 10 Hipster Cars, Not in Ironic Order

Discussion in 'Car Comparisons' started by V8stangman, Dec 7, 2012.

  1. #1 V8stangman, Dec 7, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 25, 2016
    Beards, glasses with no prescription and Bad “Sailor Jerry” tattoos. These are all signs of the hipster, but what do they drive?

    Most days, these curious cross sections of urban culture can be found casually sipping espresso and finding inventive ways to describe what they think they taste. Floral notes of nonsense, indeed.

    Between their bags of overpriced fair trade coffee and under-priced Pabst Blue Ribbon, the skinny-jeaned hipster most regularly migrates on a “fixie” bike. But when his misplaced taste for irony finds distances too great for bicycle travel, our hilariously unathletic hero turns to automotive transportation.

    Choosing a car is, perhaps, more difficult for hipsters than anyone else. Picking incorrectly puts his transient identity in jeopardy. But fear not, Lucky Strike-smoking vinyl fiends, help lies here. This is AutoGuide‘s compilation of the top 10 most hipsteriffic cars.

    Saab 900

    Kings of anti-culture, this might well be your Messiah. Much the same as your intentionally unique fashion sense, the Saab 900 rejected any real style change throughout its 15-year production cycle.

    It came available as a coupe, convertible or sedan but managed to keep the same identity that translated into many more cars to come from the brand. Ultimately, the company would come to the sobering realization that its cars aren’t cool looking; Hence their hipster chutzpah.

    Despite that, the car still has a loyal fan base most of whom will stand by their cars until they die. Of course, part of that already happened earlier this year, but who’s counting?

    Smart ForTwo

    The Smart ForTwo has about as much legitimate historical significance as a nautical tattoo on someone’s ribcage who hasn’t ever sailed and likely can’t swim.

    Driving one delivers at least two poignant admissions to the world.

    First: you care about saving gas, but don’t really understand what miles per gallon means.

    Second: You need a car, but refuse to capitulate by joining the crowd and buying something practical. This represents your small stand against buying a real car. Or maybe you understand the irony behind buying a car seen to be super-efficient, all the while knowing there are myriad less thirsty options.

    Volkswagen Golf MKII

    Built from 1983 to 1992, the second generation Volkswagen Golf GTI was popular just as its modern day counterpart. But as counterculture goes, picking the new car is too easy.

    While the GTI might seem mainstream for the too-cool crowd, it came with plaid “Interlagos” seats. That, combined with the second generation’s boxy, bug-eyed look has hipster practically keyed into its faded paint.

    Besides, the GTI has a natural arrogance about it that says “I can perform without looking like a sports car.”

    Peugeot 205

    If the GTI is still too common but the body shape gets you going, why not keep your eyes out for a French car? The Peugeot 205 is a supermini that the French automaker made for 15 years.

    It’s shaped a lot like the Golf, but comes from France and lives in utter defiance of anything from outside its ironically red white and blue flag.

    BMW E30 3 Series

    Almost as hipster-pleasing as it gets, BMW’s 3 Series with the E30 chassis is right at home parked next to a locked-up fixie bike. Its boxy style is the perfect compliment for anyone with a pair of thick, black glasses with no prescription whatsoever.

    Built from 1982 to 1991 and one of the most driver-oriented cars on the list, E30 BMWs still have a lot going for them. Even at its heaviest, this hipstermobile tips the scales at just over 3,000 lbs. At its lightest, the car only weighed 2,359 lbs making it a nimble and engaging choice.

    Of course, anyone willing to drive one will have to struggle through the spotty reliability lurking beneath the surface in most older German cars. Despite that, the E30 was still a relatively simple car and some of the last like that from BMW.

    Volkswagen Thing

    If none of the above are weird enough for you, try the Volkswagen Thing on for size. Built from 1968 to 1983 but only sold in the U.S. between 1973 and 1974, it used a rear-mounted flat-four engine and was designed to be a rugged off-roader.

    There aren’t many Things cruising around in North America these days, but anyone who wants to have something that can off-road like a Jeep without being one should start hunting through the back country. They like to hide in areas close to dune parks.

    Jeep Grand Wagoneer

    High in spirit, it’s the Jeep Wagoneer. AMC originally sold this as a luxury SUV and what better way to cap off the list of hipster cars than highlighting how far we’ve come from calling wood panelling cool?

    With cars like the Porsche Cayenne and BMW X Series among the commonly so-called luxury SUV segment, it’s hard to imagine a dinosaur like this being premium in any way.

    Then again, this car could be had with up to a 6.6-liter AMC V8. While it won’t make nearly the power you would expect from such a motor today, you’ll be chugging around in a style all your own. Just ignore the sideways stares — they don’t get it.

    Pontiac Phoenix (1980 - 1984)

    This car might have escaped the list altogether had the green coupe version with painted wood panels not been sitting at a stoplight driven by one of the beard-brandishing bandits themselves.

    Originally sold as a top-trim version of the Pontiac Ventura, the Phoenix came in rear-wheel drive with an optional 5.0-liter V8. But much like the “machines” sending Schwarzenegger back in time to kill John Connor and prevent something awesome from happening, the rear-drive and V8 were both scrapped in 1980.

    Instead, Pontiac started peddling the wet sneeze on wheels you see here. Of course, this one isn’t wearing painted wood panels or a roof rack, but who’s counting?

    Volkswagen Bus

    Loved by hippies first and recycled by the hipster crowd, this one needs no introduction. From the bong-rattling days of free love to the veritable wasteland of today, the Volkswagen bus is cool and unusual for a laundry list of reasons.

    Despite having an undeniable appeal to the ironic beard bearers, the true irony here is that almost everybody would recognize the VW Bus.

    Be warned: driving these can be dangerous. With little more than a layer of sheet metal between you and the tailgate ahead, there isn’t much room for error.

    Citroen 2CV

    Considered to be one of the French automaker’s most iconic cars, the Citroen 2CV was originally designed to be an affordable alternative to horse-drawn transportation. Lauded for its simple and reliable engineering, the car was never considered to be styling.

    From the outset, the 2CV was a piece of automotive counterculture. It quite literally was acting like a hipster before being one was a recognizable trend.

    It wasn’t ever sold in the U.S., but there are importer with them for sale, meaning it’s available if you really want one. Just don’t be upset when your morning Americano budget shrinks.
  2. Did we ever get the 205 on this side of the pond?

    I really want a Grand Wagoneer. Such a classic design.
  3. Most of those cars are actually good.

    Surprised to not see a Volvo on there too. Kinda hipster now.
  4. People buy Smarts for their mileage? wtf

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