Poem

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by CorksComeback, Jun 14, 2006.

  1. ya i know its emo and blah blah but i was bored today so i wrote this poem haha

    Yes, I have a thousand tongues,
    And nine and ninety-nine lie.
    Though I strive to use the one,
    It will make no melody at my will,
    But is dead in my mouth.
     
  2. STFU CORKS
     
  3. :hsugh:
     
  4. You actually have some potential.

    That first line. Try to develop it better, and develop your feelings about it. I was impressed with it, but kindof disappointed with the rest.
     
  5. Ya, I liked the first three lines, but the last two were meh.
     
  6. Actually, I rather liked line 4.
     
  7. cut the last line off and its good.
     

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