Okay, I’m dropping the Royal “we” for this article, because I’m pretty sure I want to only speak for myself here.

I will admit, the Lamborghini Urus, as it comes from the Sant’Agata Bolognese factory, is a bit loud. It’s all angles and angry air intakes, and it’s not subtle in the least. But, I will argue, that is the point of a Lamborghini. It’s the car that jumps up and down with a neon flashing sign above its head going “LOOK AT ME!”

Urus MD1

However, Marius Designhaus in Germany has taken that beautiful vulgarity of the Urus, that balance of over-the-top mixed with Italian design and refinement, and pretty much plopped it in the toilet, gave it the middle finger, and flushed with prejudice.

Urus MD1

Filed under “Why in the name of all that is green and holy?!?!” comes the MD1, Marius Designhaus’ first (and hopefully only) project with the Urus. Gone is the bold and brash Urus design, replaced with what looks like a violent sneeze on design paper that was wiped off, looked at, and nodded at going “Yeah, this will work.”

Urus MD1

It doesn’t. The front intake area, which was an angry shout from Lamborghini, is now a jutted out lower jaw with slashes and angles that make even Hellen Keller recoil in horror.

Urus MD1

The rear has so many spoilers and lips that it looks like a Honda Civic build project gone bad. The pointless diffuser on the rear bumper is, well, pointless because the Urus doesn’t hug the ground nearly enough to even have underbody aerodynamics.

Urus MD1

But what is making me claw my eyes out while also simultaneously pouring gallons of bleach on them are the wheels. I wish I was allowed by the editorial staff to curse on this site because those wheels are fully worthy of a loud “What the **** were they thinking?!”

Urus MD1

Mercifully, only 30 MD1’s will be built, and I do hope that everyone that buys one makes it a garage queen, to prevent spontaneous vomiting from other drivers on the road. It’s a bloody road hazard in terms of design.

In fact, I might just go to one of those online petition sites and start one up asking Marius Designhaus to not make the MD1, for the sake of all of our eyes!